


kitchen hazards

by manchestereye (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21858577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/manchestereye
Summary: dan and phil take cooking lessons, only for shit to hit the fan
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	kitchen hazards

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the phanworks challenge 2019 advent [on tumblr](https://phanworkschallenge.tumblr.com)!!
> 
> thank u to [itsmyusualphannie](https://itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com) for beta'ing!!

“we’re going to take cooking lessons,” phil says as he gets home from buying groceries. the door slams shut and there’s a gust of cold air.

dan closes his laptop, puts it on the table, and takes out his headphones. “i’m sorry, we’re doing  _ what _ ?”

phil just drops the groceries onto the floor haphazardly. “we’re taking cooking lessons.” he flops onto the couch next to dan. “mum called me earlier today saying that the lester christmas dinner is gonna be at our house this year because the kitchen caught on fire, so we have to cook for it. what kind of heathen cooks?!”

dan just pets phil’s hair. “we cook stir fry.”

phil flips dan off. “stir fry isn’t christmas dinner though. also we can’t even cook enough for ourselves so what makes you think we could cook enough for everyone?”

“alright, you’ve made your point. when are we doing the cooking lessons?” he asks.

“we start on thursday.” 

dan doesn’t say anything again until half an hour later when he realises something. “isn’t christmas on sunday?”

phil groans. “yep. that’s why we’re doing a four-hour crash course on the basics of cooking before we cook everything on the weekend.”

-

the cooking lessons don’t go the way they planned for it to go.

they’re meant to be preparing ravioli from scratch. the instructor gives them glares every now and then.

dan’s a little bit anxious about it, but phil tells him not to worry because it’s the last time they’ll ever see her.

dan and phil are cutting their ravioli into a circle when the instructor walks by their space.

“you’re doing it wrong, the recipe calls for square ravioli,” she says before walking away.

dan mocks her by repeating what she said in a nasally tone. phil grabs him by the collar and tells him to calm down or else they won’t be able to stay.

after putting the filling in the ravioli, the instructor walks by them again, as if she has some sort of grudge against them.

unfortunately, she happens to walk by at the exact moment dan puts the spoon in phil’s mouth. 

“excuse me, this is a professional workspace! if you’re going to act like this in public, may i suggest doing that somewhere else and with your  _ own  _ utensils?” she sneers.

phil puts his hand on dan’s wrist. “ _ don’t. _ ”

they go back to filling the ravioli.

-

they get kicked out on their fourth strike.

it starts off with dan putting the ravioli into the pot and then putting water. phil puts more ravioli into the pot and puts more water after that. it turned out to be too much water, because the ravioli started ballooning up.

the instructor grimaces at them but doesn’t say anything other than “repeat it, but with less water.”

they don’t even understand why she’s so mad about that because it’s still edible, just too big. 

unfortunately, dan and phil got so concerned with putting too much water that they waited to put water in until after putting in the ravioli.

it caused their station to catch on fire, and by the time dan and phil were successfully able to put it out, the instructor is seething.

“get the hell out of my kitchen, and never book another session.”

phil asks if they could keep the inflated ravioli so that they don’t waste food but she just gives him a dangerous look.

-

they’re sat in a burger place close to the flat.

“well, that didn’t go well at all,” phil says flatly, taking a bite out of his burger.

dan puts his hand on phil’s shoulder. “we could learn to cook without the help of an instructor?”

phil shakes his head. “i think we’ll be better off paying for catering.”

“now that i think about it, you’re right. we don’t have an extinguisher in the flat.” dan laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! you can find me at [sudden-sky](https://sudden-sky.tumblr.com)


End file.
